Beneath The Surface
by Kara Sullivan
Summary: A surprise party ends in tragedy for the Major Crimes gang. Drama. Dedicated to the memory of Julie Goldwyn. Involves death of an OC.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Beneath the Surface

**Summary:** A surprise party ends in tragedy for the major crimes gang. Drama. Dedicated to the memory of Julie Goldwyn.

**A/N:** I just wanted to take a few minutes to explain this story, especially for those not from the SentinelAngst list. In September of 1999, I met a wonderful friend through that list. Her name was Julie Goldwyn. We met on a Saturday, and by Sunday we were spending hours talking on IM. This became a pattern that continued for quite some time. I have never bonded with anyone as fast as I did with Jules, and from what her friends in Leiden, the Netherlands tell me, she hadn't either. She called us twins separated at birth, and not a day went by when we didn't spend at least three or four hours talking on line, even when that meant that she was up until the middle of the night due to the 6 hour time difference. We even planned a trip around Europe together to take place in the fall. She wanted to show me all of her favorite places.

Anyone who knew Jules will remember that she was a very prolific writer and her works were well loved by all who read them. What you may not have known was that these stories were her first attempt at writing fiction. Being so prolific herself, it wasn't long before she was pushing me to write as well. Once I had come up with my idea, she agreed to be my beta, and she read and approved every part to _Beneath the Surface_ before it hit the list. When she was injured and ended up in the hospital, we continued to communicate as often as possible, and she beta'd parts 5 through 8 from her hospital bed.

When she ended up in ICU, I stopped writing because I was determined to wait for her to get better before I continued. I felt that if I went on without her, it would have been like saying I didn't think she would get better, and I refused to admit that, right up until February 11th, 2000 when we lost her. Even from her bed in ICU, we continued to talk as often as the doctors allowed. The last time I spoke directly with her was late December. Shortly after that, her vitals dropped enough that she was deeply unconscious for most of her remaining time.

It took me months to even be able to go back and look at the previous parts of the story, because every sentence reminded me of her. But both Eve and Dawn suggested that I finish the story when I was ready... in memory of my friend, my sister. So with many tears and fond memories, I have continued.

So this is for you, Jules, with all my love.

**Additional A/N**: This story involves death of an OC. It is completed, but I will be posting in the original parts posted to SentinelAngst as quickly as I have them cleaned up for posting.

**Disclaimer:** _The Sentinel_ belongs to Pet Fly, UPN and Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended.

Blair Sandburg tugged his wool cap low over his ears, tucking his long brown hair inside the collar of his leather jacket. Winding a scarf tightly around his throat, he smirked in satisfaction. Now he would be warm no matter what the weather had to offer in Cascade, Washington.

"Come on, Jim! Let's go!" He turned toward a staircase in the corner as he spoke, looking for his friend and partner. "We're going to be late!"

"Alright, hold your horses. I'm coming!" Jim Ellison retorted from above. "You'd think *you'd* never been late before!" He chuckled at his roommate's excitement. "The others aren't here yet anyw..." Pausing midword, he cocked his head slightly, listening. His smile grew. "Okay, I guess they are here."

Blair grinned widely and headed for the door. Opening it up quickly, he stuck his head out into the hallway, deep blue eyes twinkling. "Come on in, guys!"

"How do you do that?" Joel Taggart shook his head in amazement.

"Do what?"

"How do you and Jim seem to always know when someone is here before we knock?"

Megan Conner stepped forward, grinning. "I don't think there's too much mystery here, Joel."

Sandburg caught his breath at this, and he sensed that Jim had stopped moving around upstairs, listening to the conversation. Would Megan give away their secret? It had not been too long before that Megan had stumbled across Blair's book on sentinels. So far she had kept quiet. She seemed content to just observe them in action. Jim had used his five heightened senses to aid in his police work under Blair's guidance. If more people found out about them, it would not only cause a furor among the public, but it would also take away the edge that they had achieved. So far only Megan and Simon Banks, their captain and friend, were aware of Jim's special abilities.

"Really?" Joel asked now. "Then how do they do it?"

Megan winked at Blair. "The elevator squeaks. Right, Sandy?"

Sandburg's smile broadened. "That's good, Megan! That you caught on to that, I mean." He stepped back to let the Australian inspector and the former bomb squad captain into the loft.

"Hi, Megan...Joel.." Ellison trotted lightly down the steps from his room, straightening his collar. "Is everybody here?"

"Not yet," Sandburg replied. "Dani's not here, yet. Rafe and Brown are going to meet us there, and of course Simon and Daryl are already there."

"I think it's sweet of you all to have this surprise party for Daryl's 18th birthday." Megan sat down on the sofa.

"I can't wait to see the look on his face." Blair sat down beside her. "Especially when Dani shows up!" With a quick glance to see if Jim was watching, he stretched his legs out and propped his feet up on the coffee table. "Getting her to come home from college for the occasion was a stroke of genius, if I must say so myself."

"You know, Chief, it's nice to see that you're still so modest." Ellison grinned up at his partner. "Now get your feet off the table."

Sandburg dropped his feet to the floor, continuing to his feet as a knock sounded at the door."Uh, sure, Jim. Let me just get the door." He grinned impishly at Ellison, then headed across the floor to open the door. "Hi, Dani! Glad you could make it! Did you have any problems getting here?"

He stepped back to admit a petite teenager. She stepped inside, pushing her short brown hair back with one hand. "Hi, Blair. No, everything went well. I had a great trip! The only problem is I need to get back as soon as the party's over...Big test on Monday! Gotta study." She turned and smiled at the others shyly. "Hi, Jim."

"Hi, Dani. Megan, Joel, this is Dani Rivers, Daryl's girlfriend. Dani, this is Megan Conner. She's on loan from Australia, helping us out at the station. And this is Joel Taggart. He also works with our unit."

"Okay, now that the introductions are over, we'd better go." Blair glanced at the clock on the VCR. "If we're too late, Rafe and Brown are going to be the surprise all by themselves. Besides, I'm getting hot." Grinning ruefully at his partner, he headed toward the door. "Tell you what, Dani. Why don't I ride with you so I can show you where we're going. Then after the party, I'll catch a ride home with Jim. Then you can head straight back to school. If you still want to, that is." He tugged at her hair playfully as he opened the door.

As they all headed back toward the elevator, Jim grabbed his keys from the basket inside the door. "Oh, I almost forgot the presents." He ducked back inside, emerging with an armload of wrapped gifts.

" Don't you think you went overboard a little?" Joel protested.

Ellison chuckled. "Some of these are from Simon, Joel. He asked us to hang on to them for him so Daryl wouldn't get suspicious." Following the others into the elevator, his ice blue eyes lit up. "Hey, Dani, could you fit these into your car? You should have more room than I will."

"Sure, Jim! I'd be glad to. I have the whole backseat empty."

As they emerged from the building, Blair shivered and stopped walking. For just a second there he had felt a cold chill. His many layers seemed to be keeping him warm now. Shrugging, he trudged to the passenger door of Dani's orange Volkswagen Bug.

***********

"So....come on, Dad. What are we really doing out here?" Daryl Banks looked up at his father in disgust. "It's my birthday, and you drag me out here to eat at some stupid restaurant I've never heard of? Why couldn't you just leave me at Mom's? I could have invited some friends over or something."

Simon Banks glared at his son. "You'll like it, Daryl. Now just be patient. We're almost there." He bit back a smile, imagining how his son would change his tune when he saw what they had planned for his birthday. "I wanted to be able to spend some time with you on your 18th birthday. I thought you'd like that, too."

Daryl flushed. "Yeah, Dad. You're right. Thanks."

"Here it is." Simon pulled his car into the crowded parking lot of a large restaurant. The sign on the side of the building was blazoned 'Olga's' in hunter green. "Okay....are you ready for some great food?"

"Yeah, sure, Dad." Daryl offered a quick grin to his father and got out of the car. "Let's eat!"

*************

"So how's school really going?" Sandburg looked over at Dani with interest. "Are any of your classes giving you a problem?"

Dani sighed. "No, school's going fine. It's a lot different than high school, but I like it. I just wish I had decided to go to Rainier so I could be near Daryl. It's lonely on campus." Watching the road ahead of her, she suddenly laughed. "Jim's not the easiest person to follow, is he?"

Blair turned his attention to the road and grinned. Jim's truck was barely in sight as he sped down the road. "That's why I'm riding with you!"

Dani laughed, throwing her head back gracefully. "You knew he'd leave me in the dust?"

Blair grinned. "He usually does." Glancing into the back seat, he chuckled. "Daryl's going to be so surprised! All those presents...looks like Christmas! Not to mention that you are here too. I can't wait."

Dani smiled, too. "Yeah, me too!" As she glanced back at the roadway, her smile faded instantly. Blair quickly turned to see what she was looking at.

It took only a few seconds for the whole thing to happen, but to Blair it seemed an eternity. The Volkswagen was traveling in the left lane of a two lane highway, heading across a low bridge. Blair had time to notice that the containing walls were little taller than the railroad ties often used in a parking lot. The blue car traveling beside them, a boxy sedan, suddenly blew a tire, causing it to careen out of control and swerve to the left. As the front left quarter of the sedan connected with Blair's car door, his head whipped back.

Dani struggled to control her vehicle which was now also out of control. Before she could stop it, the Volkswagen also swerved to the left, impacting the low wall. Blair's heart threatened to stop as the momentum of the speeding car carried it up over the wall and down toward the water below. The terror that flooded over Sandburg was numbing as the car plunged toward the surface of the water.

Dani's scream roused him enough that his protective instincts rushed forward. Reaching out with his left arm, he braced it across Dani's chest in an attempt to protect her from the worst of the impact. *Jim would be so proud.* His lips curved in a hint of a smile at the irony, and then the nose of the Volkswagen hit the water with an earsplitting shriek of tortured metal and a sickening wave of pain. Sandburg gratefully gave in to the darkness.

**_Part 2 will be up as soon as I can get it cleaned up for posting. Thanks for reading! Feedback welcome_**.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I apologize in advance to anyone in the medical fields. I am not a doctor, nor am I a psychiatrist. I am merely a banker with a vivid imagination, a couple of hospital stays under my belt, and a new perspective on the grieving process. Any medical discrepancies are because I made the rest up.

"Oh, come on, guys!" Ellison was deep in the midst of a heated discussion with his companions. "I like the Jags as well as anybody else, but come on! They don't stand a chance in the playoffs!"

"How can you say that?" Joel countered. "They've been doing alright so far this season!"

"Well, yes, that's true. But they don't have.." Ellison suddenly had a feeling that something was wrong. Looking up in the rearview mirror, the first thing he noticed was that the Volkswagen was no longer in his sight. The second thing he noticed was the black Jaguar standing in the middle of the road. "NO!" He slammed on the brakes and began to back up as quickly as possible.

"What's wrong, Jim?" Megan was instantly alert. Glancing back at the road behind them, she noticed the crumpled car halfway across both lanes. "Oh, no! Where are they, Jim?"

"I don't know. The last time I looked, they were right beside that Sedan!"

Joel looked back at Jim in horror. "Do you think they went over the side?"

Jim didn't respond, focusing all his attention on bringing them back to the scene of the accident as quickly as possible. As soon as they had stopped, he unbuckled his belt and jumped from the truck. Sparing only a cursory glance for the driver of the sedan, who was emerging from his damaged car slowly, Jim ran to the rail and looked down. The Volkswagen had come to rest upside down in the water, listing heavily toward the passenger side. "Call for help NOW!" He bellowed, then he jumped over the side.

The frigid water hit him like an electric shock. He immediately dialed down his sense of touch and swam to the side of the Volkswagen. The water here was nearly five feet deep, and the car was taking on water rapidly. The passenger side was closer, so Jim immediately headed in that direction. Taking a deep breath, he ducked under the water to take a look. His heart sank as he saw that the whole door was twisted and dented. There was no way he'd be able to open that door. But he had to try. Grabbing the handle, he began to tug on it, straining to force it open with sheer strength. *I can't do this again! I can't lose Blair this time!*

***************

"Come on, Dad!" Daryl was really starting to get irritable. "Are we ordering or not?" His dad was really acting strange. First he insisted that Daryl spend his birthday with him, then he decided they were going out to some restaurant Daryl had never heard of.

Now they had been sitting here for thirty minutes or more, and they still had not ordered their dinner. Every time the waitress checked back, Simon smiled and shook his head. "Not yet, thanks. We're still enjoying our drinks."

Daryl was getting very suspicious. *Dad's acting just a little bit TOO weird. He's up to something!* He suddenly suppressed a smile. *What is he planning?*

Simon opened his mouth to speak, but closed it abruptly when Rafe walked into the dining room of the restaurant. Daryl watched the expressions chasing across his father's face. Confusion, annoyance, frustration and finally concern. "Rafe, what are you doing here?" His voice was harsh.

Rafe looked uncomfortable. "Captain, could I talk to you for a minute?" He shifted his stance slightly, and Daryl noticed he was holding a cell phone tightly in his right hand.

"Go ahead and talk." Simon leaned back in his chair and looked expectantly at his detective.

"Uh...well, I think it would be better to talk alone, sir. I'm sorry to disturb you, but it's very important."

Simon glanced at Daryl and then looked back at Rafe. "Ok, let's go outside for a minute. Daryl, I'll be right back."

Daryl watched in confusion as his father followed Rafe outside. When he had seen the detective enter the room, he had been convinced that this was whatever his father had up his sleeve. Now he wasn't sure what was going on. Rafe didn't seem like he was in on a secret. More like he didn't want to tell them something, but knew he had to. Taking a sip of his coke and mentally shrugging off his thoughts, Daryl settled in to wait for Simon's return.

He didn't have long to wait. Within a few moments, Simon came striding back into the room. Daryl immediately noticed the expression on his father's face. "What's wrong, Dad?" He stood up to meet Simon, his heart pounding now.

"Daryl, I've had some bad news. We have to go. There was a bad accident a few minutes ago. I'm not sure how bad yet."

"Who is it, Dad?" Daryl was pretty sure he really didn't want to know, but the words just tumbled out of his mouth on their own.

"Well .....like I said...we don't know how bad it is yet." Simon was staring at him, a strange expression on his face, one of tenderness and compassion.

Daryl swallowed hard. "Dad! Who is it!"

Simon looked down at the floor and then back at his son. "Dani. And Blair."

Daryl paled and swallowed hard. It took him a few tries before he could get his words out. "B-Both of them? That's impossible, Dad! Dani's at school! She has a big test on Monday! I just talked to her this afternoon! She called to wish me a happy birthday!" He tried to take a deep breath to still the sudden furious pounding of his heart. "Besides, what would Dani and Blair be doing together anyway!"

Simon took a deep breath, looked briefly up at the ceiling, and then looked Daryl straight in the eyes. "They were on their way here for a surprise birthday party. Dani came home right after she called you, and everyone was on their way here. I don't know how bad it is, but I need to get over there right away."

"I'm going with you!" Daryl felt lightheaded, and his stomach churned, but he needed to know.

"Daryl, you don't need to do this," Simon protested. "I'll let you know what I find out. This is no place for you to be, Son."

"I'm going, Dad!" Daryl ended the argument as he turned and headed for the exit.

****************

Jim continued his frantic battle with the car door until he ran out of air and was forced to return to the surface. He emerged from the icy water, gasping in the cold air. The only way to get in the car was going to be through the driver's side. Slogging through the water, he leaned up on the other side of the car and tugged at Dani's door. To his relief, this time it opened on the first try. Opening the door as wide as he could, Jim climbed up on the edge of the car.

What he saw made him shudder and look away to regain his composure. Dani was lying limp in her seat, arms dangling down toward the inverted roof of the Volkswagen. The impact had pushed the dashboard and steering column up and back toward her, and she was crushed tightly behind it. The front of her shirt and coat were drenched with bright red blood. Jim could not detect a pulse or breath sounds, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, shutting out the horror. *What are we going to tell Daryl?*

He only froze for a moment, and then his priorities snapped back into place. There would be time for grief later. He needed to get Blair out of the car while he could. Leaning into the car, he peered past Dani to see what had become of his partner. Blair was still belted into his seat, and he too was limp, one arm dangling. His head was swaying with the movement of the water, and his face was only centimeters away from the rising flood. There was an ugly blue lump on his forehead, and blood trickled down his face into his hair.

Jim focused all of his senses on his partner and was rewarded with the sound of a heartbeat, although it was rapid and weak. Blair's chest was rising and falling with each breath, and Jim sighed in relief. At least he was alive. And then Jim's heart froze. Only one of Blair's arms was dangling. Following his left arm with his eyes, Jim came to the sickening realization that Blair's left arm had been crushed between The steering column and Dani's body. Checking it closely, his horror grew as he realized what must have happened.

His partner must have instinctively done what Jim had done for him so many times. As the car impacted, he had attempted to protect Dani and restrain her with his arm. But it hadn't worked. Dani was still dead, and Blair's arm was literally crushed. As Jim studied it carefully for obvious injury, he realized that a lot of the blood running down the front of Dani's shirt actually belonged to Blair. He appeared to have punctured or severed a major blood vessel in the arm. Jim lunged back from the car, the horrific sight burned into his memory.

If he couldn't get Blair out of the car soon, his partner would either bleed to death or drown in the rising water. And he couldn't get Blair out of the car unless he could either move Dani or get the passenger door open. Neither option seemed likely at the moment.

"I need some help down here!" His voice cracked on the last word, and he struggled to control the shivers as he stood in the icy water waiting for assistance. His own jacket was soaked through, and the wind was cutting through him.

Listening closely to the action going on above him, Jim heard footsteps immediately heading toward the edge. Megan looked down at him. "What can I do, Jim?"

"I need a crowbar and something to use for a tourniquet. And I need it now, or we won't have anyone to save!"

Megan paled, and she glanced at the upside down vehicle, but she quickly drew back and went off to find the items Jim had requested. Ellison leaned back into the car, keeping his eyes and ears on his partner's vitals. "Oh, God, Chief...What did you do?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, Jim! Heads up!" Jim looked up with a start at Megan's voice. He had been concentrating so hard on Blair, he had nearly zoned. She was standing at the edge of the bridge, holding a crowbar in one hand and a strip of cloth in the other. As soon as she was sure she had his attention, she wrapped the cloth around the crowbar and dropped them both down to the water beside him.

Jim quickly scooped the precious items out of the water and sloshed back to the car. As he studied the logistics, he breathed a prayer of relief that the car had not flipped evenly. Blair's side was completely underwater, but Dani's side was sticking up out of the water altogether. If this had not been the case, the car would have most likely filled with water by this time.

Jim carefully climbed up onto the edge of the doorframe on the driver's side, moving slowly and cautiously. One wrong move and the car would straighten out, drowning his partner before he even started his rescue attempt. Stretching into the Volkswagen past Dani, he carefully tied the cloth tightly around Blair's upper arm and tightened it. Hopefully this would buy his injured roommate some more time. Moving just as slowly, he then crept out of the vehicle, splashing back into the frigid water.

Eyeing the crowbar critically, Jim tried to picture what would happen if he used the crowbar on Blair's car door. Probably let the water in too fast to help! *What am I going to do?* He couldn't just sit by and do nothing.

He stood there in the cold water for a moment, his numb mind trying to comprehend that this time there might not be a happy ending. In fact, there was no way it could have a happy ending. Dani's death had seen to that. He only hoped this was not like those old war movies where all of the good guys died.

The sound of sirens gave him a brief surge of hope. *Thank God! At least they will have equipment to help get them out of the car.* In the meantime, Jim would be right beside his partner. He reached out and touched Blair's hand, the only part of his arm he could see. The fingers were ice cold. "Come on, Chief! Hang in there!"

He continued to hang on to Blair's fingers, desperate for some assurance that his young friend was still alive. As he stood shivering in the water, he became aware of authoritative voices above on the bridge, shouting out commands and responses to them. Lifting his head slowly, he watched as several rescue personnel splashed down into the water beside the Volkswagen. Relief flooded through him. *Now he'll be fine!*

As one man pulled Jim back from the car, several others stepped in to analyze the best strategy for the rescue. Jim allowed the fireman to pull him a few feet away, but then he stopped and stood his ground. "I'm not leaving."

"May I ask your name?" the man said. "Mine is Hal."

"Jim Ellison."

"Okay, Jim. I want to get you out of this cold water. We've got people waiting up on the bridge with blankets and some hot coffee." Hal gestured toward the ambulance and fire truck waiting up on the bridge, lights flashing. "We'll get you warmed right up."

Jim turned and looked at Hal for the first time. He was a young man, somewhere in his early twenties. He had bleached blond hair and brown eyes. Ellison thought fleetingly that he would look more at home on a California beach than in Washington. He was looking at Jim in concern now, completely concentrating on getting his charge out of the water.

"Hal, that car belongs to a friend of mine..a nineteen year old college freshman who happens to be dating my boss's son. I don't think she survived the crash. My partner, Blair Sandburg, is still trapped in there. I don't think you are going to get him out without moving her first. And he's bleeding badly enough that I don't think he has much time. I am NOT going to go up there and get warmed up while he might be dying in there." Jim looked him straight in the eye. "Now...you can waste both our time by trying to get me to go, or you can let me stay and help your buddies get my partner out of there!"

Hal wavered for another moment, and then he nodded. "Alright, you can stay. And don't worry, we'll do everything we can to get your friend out." With one last look at Jim, he turned and headed for the car.

Having settled the current crisis, Jim stepped back another space and turned his attention back to the activity around the Volkswagen. Two of the firemen had carried down the 'Jaws of Life' and were busily setting them up. They had already stabilized the car so that it could not tip and allow the water to pour in. One of the paramedics had crawled into the car and was trying to find a way to lean around Dani to assess Blair's condition.

Jim carefully and slowly extended his senses, checking to see if he could still find Blair's heartbeat. It was there, but it was still far too rapid, and it was getting weaker. "Come on! Help him!" Jim mumbled, clenching his fists and clenching his jaw. He knew they would never allow him to help in the rescue, but Blair was running out of time, and Jim had never felt so helpless. It seemed as though things were about as bad as they could get.

And then they got worse. Jim was distracted from his focus on Blair when a sudden commotion erupted up on the bridge. Looking up, his heart sank when he recognized the car pulling up beside the fire trucks.

****************

The silence was deafening as Simon carefully drove toward the accident scene. Occasionally, he would cast furtive glances in Daryl's direction, but Daryl pretended he didn't see him. Finally, Simon gave up and concentrated on driving. He had his portable light up on the dashboard and was driving as swiftly as he dared.

Daryl sighed and turned his attention to the view flashing past the windows. *How could this happen? I finally found a girl that I really care about, and something awful happens!* He rested his cheek against the cool glass of the window and closed his eyes. He would NOT think about what could have happened to Dani. She was going to be fine. Repeating this mantra to himself, he tried not to notice when a tear slipped from his eye to smear against the window pane.

It seemed to take forever before his father slowed the car. Daryl opened his eyes slowly, afraid of what he might see. The sun had begun to set, casting everything into shadow. The swirling lights on the rescue vehicles seemed to stand out with the approaching darkness, seeming almost sinister. Several people had gotten out of their cars and were standing on the bridge as close to the action as possible, staring down in fascination. Daryl's stomach churned. How could people be so callous with other people's lives? He could tell from the looks on the faces lining the side of the road that these people were not there out of concern. They didn't care that his life might be destroyed. They were only interested in watching the show.

Simon stopped the sedan, and both father and son got out slowly. Daryl had begged to be here, had insisted on it. But now he wished he had stayed behind. He wasn't sure he was ready for what lay ahead. He hesitated, and Simon immediately stepped around the car and laid his arm across his shoulders.

"Are you okay, Son?"

Daryl nodded, feeling just a little bit better with his father there to support him. "Let's go see what happened, Dad."

"Captain!" Megan rushed forward, followed closely by Joel. "You got here quickly!"

"How are they, Megan?" Simon asked. Daryl was grateful that his father had taken charge. He didn't think he could have spoken just then, his heart in his throat.

Megan glanced at Daryl quickly, then looked back at Simon. "We don't know yet," she said. "Jim is down there with them now."

Daryl swallowed hard and looked up into his father's face. "I want to see the car. I need to see what happened."

Joel stepped forward, laying a hand on Daryl's shoulder. "From what we've figured out from the driver of the other car, he blew a tire and lost control. His car hit the passenger side of the car, which caused them to lose control also. They went over the side, Daryl. I don't know how badly they are hurt, but I'm not going to lie to you. From Jim's reaction, I think it's bad."

Daryl looked steadily at Joel, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Thank you." His voice cracked and he swallowed hard. "For being honest with me." Outwardly he knew he seemed to be handling this well, but inside, he was crying for his mother to take care of him and make this horrible nightmare go away.

He looked up at his father again, then straightened his shoulders and stepped toward the edge of the road. Looking down, he closed his eyes against the sudden nausea he felt at the sight of the overturned car. There were still rescue workers scrambling around the car, attempting to rescue the occupants. Jim was standing in the water only a few feet back from the rescuers, staring intently at the vehicle. Almost as if he could see right through the twisted metal to the people trapped inside.

As they stood there watching from above, two firemen passed each other, one coming up from the water and the other on his way down.

"How are we doing?" The one on his way down asked, studying his counterpart. The second man was dripping cold water behind him at every step, shaking with cold. Someone quickly brought him a blanket.

"Not too well," the second one replied hoarsely, wrapping his shaking hands around a steaming cup of coffee. "We can't really get in to get them out. They're jammed in too tight. And they are afraid to flip the car without bracing the male first in case he has spinal injuries."

The first fireman shook his head. "What about the girl? I hear she's in bad shape!"

The second man shook his head also. "Bad shape's not the term I'd use. From what I hear she's DOA!"

Suddenly Daryl felt like it was getting dark all at once. His stomach turned again, and with a small whimper, he slid to the ground. "NO!!"


	4. Chapter 4

Jim cringed as he listened to the conversation from above and heard Daryl's hoarse cry. Looking up at the small group gathered at the side of the bridge, he met Simon's tortured gaze with his own. The firemen were still debating the best way to get Blair out of the car safely. They were trying to get someone into the back seat area, but Dani was wedged in so tightly, they had not found anyone small enough to fit through.

The problem was complex. They could flip the vehicle, pry the passenger door open and get Blair out that way, but if he had a spinal injury, they could do serious damage unless they could get in to stabilize him first. They could try to open the door without moving the Volkswagen, but they might not be able to get him out before he drowned. The third option was to somehow get Dani out of the car first without further damaging Blair's mangled arm. Any way they tried it, there was a chance they could lose him.

Jim shook himself from his torturous thoughts and looked back at the rescue operation. The smallest of the paramedics, a pretty young blond woman, was straddling the door frame, leaning as far into the vehicle as she could. Jim listened as she periodically called out Blair's vital signs. They were well below the safety level.

A splashing sound approached from the left, and Jim looked up to see Megan heading toward him, a thick blanket in her arms. "Jim, I know you won't leave, but at least wrap this around your shoulders. It won't do Sandy any good if you catch pneumonia out here." She reached up and draped the blanket around Jim's shoulders, not giving him a chance to protest.

"Thanks, Conner." Jim sighed. She was right. If he got sick, who would stay with Blair when they got him out?

"Jim?" Hal was back, studying Jim with concern. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Hal." Jim's impatience slipped out. "How's my partner?"

"He's hanging in there. We've decided on the best course of action now. We're just waiting for...."

"It's here!" The cry interrupted the paramedic midword. "Somebody get over there quick!"

Jim and Megan looked up to see a med-evac chopper landing in the road nearby. Policemen had cleared a large area of cars and spectators to make room for it. One of the firemen from the bridge was at the door almost before it had settled on the ground. The door slid open, and the medic inside handed something out to the fireman. He turned and ran back to the bridge as fast as he could.

Jim nearly smiled in relief as he realized what they had brought. The man was carrying an oxygen tank and mask such as a diver would use. They were going to let Blair breathe underwater while the extrication was in progress. This would take a little of the pressure off to get him out immediately. The burly fireman splashed back into the water and headed for the Volkswagen.

"Okay," Hal continued, finally catching Jim's eyes. "What we are going to do is put oxygen on him, and then we are going to do two things simultaneously. We're going to pry his door open and get the driver's seat back far enough that we can get his arm out. By the way, that was a great tourniquet you made. Probably saved his life."

"Thanks." Jim watched the fireman's progress as he trudged thorough the chest high water. "I had some training as a medic...it comes in handy sometimes."

Hal responded, but Jim never heard what he said. He was watching as the fireman reached the Volkswagen, so he saw him lose his footing. As the man began to go under, he reached out instinctively for something to stabilize himself. Unfortunately, the only thing to grab onto was the frame of the car. He grasped it with one hand, his feet continuing out from under him as they kicked into the supports under the car and knocked them loose. Jim watched in horror as the car balanced itself, the driver's side dropping down into the water.

"NO!" he howled, immediately forcing his way through the water back to the car. "Get him out! Hurry!"

The area around the Volkswagen erupted in bedlam. It was too late to use the oxygen mask. By the time they were able to get the tank in to him, it would be too late. Instead, the rescue workers concentrated on doing the two tasks they had decided on. Two of the firemen pushed Dani's seat back as far as they could, easing Blair's mangled arm free. At the same time, two firemen on the other side worked feverishly to pry the crumpled door open as quickly as possible.

It seemed to take forever, but probably only spanned about 45 seconds. Finally the limp anthropologist was pulled from the wreckage and carried toward shore. They had hooked a cervical collar around his neck and were trying to keep him as straight as possible. Jim kept pace with the rescue team as they headed up toward the bank. Before lifting Blair from the water, a backboard was attached.

Jim cringed as he followed the group up onto the shore. Blair was not breathing, although Jim could still detect a weak heartbeat. If they did not aid his breathing soon, his heart would stop also. He was vaguely aware of the rescue workers still at the wreckage attempting to extricate Dani from the car.

"How is he, Jim?" Simon's voice was quiet, and Jim knew he was the only one who heard the question. "Is he alive?"

Jim glanced up at his friend. Simon was siting on the ground, both arms wrapped around his son, who seemed to be in a daze. Jim nodded once and continued following his partner.

At the top of the embankment, Blair was laid down on the grass. Jim stared down at him, sick at heart. How could he have drowned again? He couldn't lose him a second time. He knelt down beside Blair and reached in to touch his good arm. "Blair, come back! Please stay with me! Come on, Buddy!"

The paramedics quickly set up a resuscitator on the injured man, encouraging him to breathe on his own. While Jim watched, unconsciously holding his own breath, they continued to work. Megan had silently dropped down beside Jim, and now Joel came over to add his support. Jim was grateful for the support, but kept all of his attention on his best friend.

Suddenly Blair gave a gasping sigh and began to choke up the water he had inhaled. Jim closed his eyes, breathing deeply in relief. "Thank you, God!"

Hal looked up at him, critically assessing his mental state. "Ok, Jim. Just keep it together, okay? He's breathing again, and that's a good sign. But he's not out of the woods yet. He took in a lot of water, and he's also lost a lot of blood. This is a devastating injury to his arm. We'll do everything we can, but I'm not sure what's going to happen here. And we still haven't ruled out a spinal injury. I just think you need to keep these things in mind, okay?"

Jim nodded, marveling at Hal's soothing voice. Almost like his guide's voice. *I bet Blair would be good at this kind of thing. He'd be great at empathizing with family members during a crisis.* Then he shook his head to clear it. Right now he would be happy if Blair got the chance to ever do something like this, because it would mean he had survived.

A commotion brought his head up, and he watched as Dani was carried from the water and placed in the grass about ten feet to the left of Blair. Hoping against hope that they had been wrong about her condition, he watched with a sinking heart as one of the medics shook his head and pulled a blanket up over her body. A startled sob caught Jim's attention, and he looked over to see Daryl staring in anguish at the blanket.

How had things gotten so out of control? This whole endeavor had been to give Daryl a birthday he'd never forget. Well, they had done that. None of them would ever forget this day. Jim closed his eyes, trying to shut out the activity around them. But the image that remained burned into his memory was of the upside down Volkswagen, alone in the water, gaily wrapped birthday gifts spilling from both doors to float soggily away.


	5. Chapter 5

As the paramedics swarmed around Sandburg, feverishly working to prepare him for the med-evac helicopter standing by, Jim glanced over at Simon. He was still sitting there with an arm around his son, who was now weeping unashamedly. Simon rested his chin on Daryl's head, holding him closer. He had tears in his own eyes, aching for his child. Nothing had ever hit home like this to Daryl before, and Jim hoped he would be able to cope with the heartache.

His reverie was interrupted when the paramedics pronounced Blair as ready to go. Jim looked back at his partner, allowing his own anguish to seep through. Blair was strapped to a back board, a cervical collar holding his head in place. An oxygen mask covered the lower portion of his face, and they had bandaged the swollen gash on his forehead. IV's had been established in his right arm, and his left one was lightly wrapped in sterile gauze and immobilized. But the worst part was that he had not awoken and seemed unresponsive.

He lightly squeezed his partner's right shoulder as they lifted his stretcher from the ground and rushed off to the helicopter. More than anything, Jim wanted to be in that chopper with his friend, making sure that he received the best of care. But he knew there would not be room for him, so he would make his way to the hospital as fast as he could.

"Simon..."

"Go, Jim." The words were sentinel soft, but Jim heard them clearly.

"Thanks. Simon, I'm...."

"I know, Jim, just go." Simon used his free arm to rub Daryl's back, trying to soothe the awful ache he knew his son was feeling.

Jim looked back one more time, knowing that the sight would be forever indelibly burned into his memory. Simon sprawled on the ground, his back against the side of an ambulance. Daryl sitting beside him, clutching his father tightly, head against Simon's chest. Eyes closed, though tears continued to escape from them to cascade down his cheeks in a silent waterfall.

Jim looked away briefly, then turned and ran back to his truck. He was nearly in the vehicle before he realized he was not alone. Looking up in surprise, he stared straight into Megan's eyes. When she saw him looking at her, she tilted her chin up stubbornly.

"You need me, Jim." She gestured toward the departing helicopter. "Without Sandy, you need someone to watch your back."

Jim realized she was expecting an argument, but the truth of the matter was that he did not have the energy to fight her right now. All he cared about was getting to the hospital as soon as possible. "Fine."

Megan's eyes widened slightly, but she made no comment, quickly getting in on the passenger side. As Jim adjusted his seatbelt, she did the same. Megan looked over at him, then pulled his portable bubble light out and placed it on the dash board. Jim quickly started the engine and pulled out into traffic, frantically trying to figure the fastest way to Cascade General.

***************

He woke slowly, pain dragging him to awareness. Opening his eyes a slit, Blair groggily tried to take in his surroundings. There was a loud rumbling noise vibrating through him, and the cold bit into him. He tried to move his arms, wanting to push the wet hair back from his cheek where it clung damply. *I can't move my arms!* The panicked thought spurred him to struggle against the bonds holding him down.

"Easy, easy!" The soothing voice caught his attention, and he slowly forced his eyes to move toward the direction from which it had come. "You're okay. You need to lie still! You've had an accident, and we have you strapped down for your protection. You're in a helicopter on your way to the hospital."

Blair moaned and tried to turn his head, but he was unable to muster the strength. *Accident? What accident? What happ.....* Suddenly his eyes shot open. *Oh, god! Dani's car had gone off the bridge!* The last thing he remembered was holding his arm out to try to protect her. He wondered fleetingly if it had worked, then his eyes grew heavy again, and he surrendered to the darkness once more.

***************

Simon watched with watery eyes as Jim's truck pulled away, headed toward the hospital. It had barely left its spot when another car pulled in, and Rafe and Brown got out and headed toward the crowd on the bridge. Simon nodded to them as they approached.

"Sorry it took us so long to get here, Captain." Brown's voice was soft and apologetic. "I got stuck in traffic, and Rafe waited for me."

"That's okay." Simon glanced wearily around the scene, watching all of the fireman as they continued their cleanup efforts, preparing to head back to the station. "There wasn't anything you could have done anyway. They didn't even let Jim help."

Rafe had spotted the blanket covered form on the grass, and he looked quickly at Daryl, his eyes softening with compassion. Simon shook his head sharply when Rafe opened his mouth to speak. He wasn't sure that Daryl would hear him anyway. His son was still clinging to him desperately, his body shaking. The front of Simon's shirt was damp with his tears.

Rafe closed his mouth, nodded and walked off to offer his assistance, Brown right behind him. Joel squatted down beside Simon and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, lending his strength. "It's going to be alright, Simon."

***************

Jim clenched the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles ached, trying to concentrate on the road and not on the last image he had of Blair. His partner *had* to be alright. He couldn't even think otherwise. Increasing the pressure of his foot on the gas pedal, he never even noticed as the speedometer needle rose.

"Uh, Jim?" Megan's voice cut through his thoughts. "Would you like me to drive?"

Jim glanced over at her, befuddled. "Why?" Then he followed her gaze to the speedometer, immediately lifting his foot from the gas pedal. He had been doing 90 and they were traversing some pretty sharp curves. "Sorry, Conner. I wasn't thinking."

"I understand, Jim!" Megan covered Jim's right hand with her own. "He's going to be okay! You'll see! Sandy's tough! He's been through a lot, but he always bounces back! He'll be fine this time, too! I'm sure of it!"

"Thanks." Jim looked at Conner, a tiny smile playing at his lips. Then he returned his attention to the road. *You *have* to be, Chief.*

***************

The first thing he was aware of was the pain. His left arm was on fire. *Why doesn't someone put the fire out?* He moved restlessly, and suddenly noticed other kinds of pain. There was a stinging pain in the back of his right hand when he tried to move it, and his head was throbbing miserably. His chest felt strangely tight, and he couldn't seem to draw in enough air. Slowly opening burning eyes, he gazed dazedly at his surroundings. He was flat on his back, strapped down to some sort of bed, and when he looked up, the ceiling tiles were moving by at a dizzying rate. Swallowing the sudden nausea, he closed his eyes again. No, that wasn't right. The ceiling tiles weren't moving...his bed was. Realization dawned suddenly. A stretcher. Which would probably make this a hospital.

"Dani?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, and no one seemed to notice it. He tried again. "How's Dani?"

"You hang on, Blair." The voice came from somewhere behind him, and a hand patted his right arm. "You are going to be just fine. We're going to take good care of you. Now you just relax."

"How's Dani?" Maybe if he asked enough times, somebody would understand and answer him.

"Don't you worry about Dani, Blair. We're just going to concentrate on you right now." Another annoying pat on the shoulder.

"Oh, God. She's dead, isn't she?" His voice cracked, and he felt his eyes quickly filled with tears. "I didn't save her."

"Okay, here we are." The stretcher was wheeled into a brightly lit room. Blair could see it even with his eyes closed. The stretcher stopped, and he let out a relieved sigh. Maybe now the dizziness would go away. He flinched as something brushed against his arm, then he heard the clink of metal, and the straps fell away. "Okay, everybody ready?"

*Ready for what?* Blair felt movement at the sheets beneath him. What was going on?

"On the count of three. One...two...three."

Suddenly the sheets tightened beneath him, and he felt his support slipping away as he was lifted up and to the side. He barely had time to worry before he was gently deposited on a hard bed. Then it seemed that all Hell broke loose.

A shadow descended between his eyes and the brightness, and then fingers lifted his left eyelid, and an intense beam of light struck his exposed eye. He automatically flinched away from the painful brightness, jolting his left arm in the process. A strange sound filled the room, and Blair dimly recognized it as a scream. His scream. The sudden wave of nausea nearly overwhelmed him, and he felt a cold sweat break out all over his body. There was a strange roaring sound in his ears, and his heart threatened to pulse out of his chest. As the darkness tugged at him, he gratefully let go.

***************

Jim was almost through the electronic doors of the Emergency Room when he came to an abrupt stop. Blair's scream had nearly deafened him. "He's awake....in pain." He quickened his pace, leaving Megan behind.


	6. Chapter 6

Megan hurried to keep up with her companion. "Ok, Jim, let's go see him."

The sentinel followed the sound of his guide's heartbeat, wincing at the rapid pulse. Halfway down the hall, they passed the nurses' station, still moving at a rapid pace. The young woman sitting behind it looked up in alarm. "Can I help you? Hey, you can't go down there!"

Megan looked back at her, smiling an apology. "It's okay. We know the way."

Jim continued on determinedly until he reached the second door from the end on the left. Peering in through the glass wall, he finally stopped his mad rush and took a shaky breath. Blair was unconscious again, which was probably a good thing. The medical team had removed his damaged clothing and covered him with a sheet. One of the nurses was working on the gash on his forehead. The cervical collar was still around his neck, striking terror to Jim's heart. What if Blair were to survive after all of this, only to spend the rest of his life trapped within a useless body or missing his arm? *I don't know if either of us could survive that.*

Megan stepped up close beside him and laid her hand on Jim's arm. "Are you okay, Jim?" He nodded absently, focusing all his attention on the activity beyond the glass.

Two men in green scrubs were bent over Blair's injured arm, examining it closely. Jim slowly extended his hearing, turning the dial up in small increments. He didn't want someone to drop a tray or something and deafen him. Concentrating with all his energy, he listened to the conversation.

"What do you think?" The first speaker was a tall man with wispy hair the color of iron. He fixed light green eyes on his companion.

The second doctor, a short and stocky young man with a shock of black hair reminiscent of a Brillo pad, looked gravely up at him, large brown eyes blinking behind thick glasses. "It looks bad. I'll see what I can do, but I don't know if I'll be able to save it. We need to get him into surgery stat."

"We'll get him up there. You just do your best!" The first doctor looked back at Blair. "He's so young."

Jim stiffened, alerting Megan that something had happened. The pressure of her hand on his arm changed as she closed her hand around his forearm, squeezing it gently.

"What is it, Jim? What did you hear?"

Jim had to clear his throat twice before he could get his voice to function. "They don't know if they'll be able to save his arm. The younger doctor is a specialist. He's going to operate, but he says it looks really bad." He fisted his own left hand, leaning his forehead against the cool glass. "It's going to destroy him when he finds he did this for nothing! He was trying to save Dani, and it didn't work!"

"Come on, Jim." Megan's voice was calm. "Don't even think like this! Did the doctor say it was impossible for them to save his arm?"

"No." Jim sighed and lifted his head. "No, just that it didn't look good."

"Okay then. This is Sandy! How many times has he beat the odds before? He'll do it again!"

Jim laid his free hand on Megan's, which was still clasped around his arm. "Thanks."

The muffled sound of well oiled wheels on the tile caught Jim's attention. A tall dark haired man in green hospital scrubs was heading towards the door pulling a portable X-ray machine behind him. He looked over at the pair standing there and smiled, then pushed the machine through the swinging doors. Jim watched as he wheeled it up to the table and waited for one of the doctors to give him instructions.

The older doctor looked up with a small smile. "Hi, Bob. We need a complete skull series and a complete spinal series. And we need to move quickly. He needs to get into surgery ASAP if we're going to save that arm."

"Right." Bob set up his equipment and prepared to get to work. Within minutes he had completed the X-rays and left the way he had come.

While the rest of the trauma team continued to work busily around their patient, the two doctors Jim had been watching headed for the door. The older one looked back at his team briefly. "I'll be out in the hall if anything changes."

The door swung open, and the two men stepped out, deeply engrossed in conversation. Jim stepped forward, drawing Megan with him

"How's he doing, Doc?" he asked hoarsely.

Both doctors looked up sharply, realizing that there were two in their midst that didn't belong. The younger doctor nodded to them and headed for the elevator bank halfway down the hall.

"How did you get back here?" The older doctor looked at Jim sternly. "Didn't the nurse tell you you need to wait in the waiting room?"

"To be honest, I didn't give her a chance." Jim met his gaze determinedly. "I'm Detective Jim Ellison, Cascade PD. That man in there is my partner and my best friend. I need to be here for him. So how is he?"

The doctor stared at him for another minute, green eyes fixed on blue. Jim had the uncomfortable feeling that he was being tested and refused to lower his eyes. Finally the man sighed. "Ok, Detective. I'm Doctor Michael Palmer. Your partner is being X-rayed right now to see if he has any head, neck or back injuries. As soon as we have that information, we are going to take him to surgery to try and save his arm. I'm sure you realize after seeing him at the scene how badly injured he is. He's lost a lot of blood, although I understand that you are responsible for the tourniquet he came in with?"

Jim nodded, listening to every word intently.

"Well, you most likely saved his life. Good job." The doctor patted Jim on the shoulder. "He's badly damaged the arm, and we are going to have do some pretty intricate surgery to repair the blood vessels, muscles and nerves. I want to be realistic here. Even if we can save the arm, there is no guarantee that he'll ever use it, or to what extent."

Jim nodded again. At the moment he didn't think he was capable of speech. A nod was the best he could do.

"Now as to the rest of it, he has a cut on his head that is going to require some stitches to keep it from scarring. And he's going to have a whopper of a bruise across his lower abdomen where the seat belt caught him at impact. But our main concerns right now are seeing if he's damaged his spine and getting that arm taken care of."

All three heads turned as rapid footsteps sounded in the hall. Bob was returning, an envelope in his right hand. "Here you go, Mike."

Doctor Palmer took the offered X-rays from the other man. "Thanks, Bob." He turned and headed back to the trauma room. At the door, he stopped and looked back at Jim. "I'll let you know what I find out."

Jim turned back to the glass wall, watching tensely as the X-rays were placed on a viewing screen. As the doctors studied them carefully, he did, too. He couldn't see any abnormalities, but waited to see what the doctors decided. At last, Doctor Palmer stepped back.

"I don't see anything on the X-rays. No skull or vertebrae damage. Okay, let's get him up to the OR."

Jim sagged against the window in relief. Megan looked over at him quickly. "What did he say, Jim?"

"His back's okay." Jim lifted brimming eyes to look at his companion. "He's not going to be paralyzed!"

***************

Simon looked over to the passenger side of his car. Daryl was curled up against the door, staring out of the window, lost somewhere in his mind. He hadn't spoken since they had taken Dani away, and his tears had dried up at the same time. Simon was really worried about his son. He'd tried to get him to talk, but it was almost as if Daryl had shut out the whole world.

Simon had practically had to carry his son to the car, and had strapped him into his seat, something he hadn't done in ten years. His own eyes filled with tears when he thought about how this would affect Daryl in the long run. Even after the shock wore off, he was probably going to need counseling to get through this.

He sighed and returned his full attention to the road. All he wanted to do now was to get Daryl home and into bed. *I wonder how Blair's doing? And Jim? I'll bet Megan's got her hands full, trying to keep Jim calmed down.* He sighed again when he thought about the last time he had seen Blair, and how badly injured he was. If the kid didn't pull through, Jim was probably going to be even more devastated than Daryl was.

"Daryl?" He decided to try once more. "Son, we're almost home, okay? Hang on."

Daryl jerked at his father's words, as if he had been struck. Then his eyes rolled back , and he slumped against the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N_** _**Wow, I did not remember this chapter being so short! To make up for the shortness, chapter 8 will be right behind it.**_

Simon immediately slammed his foot down on the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. "Daryl!" Voice shaking, Simon reached across and grabbed his son's shoulder, sliding his fingers up to his neck. His pulse was strong and steady, and Simon sighed in relief. He seemed to have fainted. "Hang on, Son. I'm going to get you home!"

Easing the sedan back out into the traffic, Simon guided the car with shaking hands. He wanted to get home as soon as he could to put Daryl to bed. Casting frequent worried looks toward his passenger, Simon breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled in the driveway. Putting the car in Park, he removed the keys and sat back in his seat, closing his eyes with a sigh. How were they going to get through this?

He got slowly up from his seat and trudged wearily up the walk to the house. He suddenly felt exhausted, and he wanted nothing more than to just go to bed and forget this had ever happened.

But first he had to take care of his son. Fumbling with his keys, he finally found the right one and got the door open. He propped the screen door open and headed back out to the car.

Walking around to Daryl's side of the car, he slowly pulled the door open, mindful that his son was leaning on the door from the inside. As soon as Daryl started to slide, he reached in and held him in place. Pulling the limp body into his arms, he slowly stood up, adjusting Daryl so his head was against his father's shoulder. He swung the limp legs up with his other arm, and headed toward the house.

Once inside, he immediately headed for Daryl's bedroom, where he gently deposited his son on the bed. He straightened Daryl's arms and legs and carefully removed his sneakers. Sliding his hands behind Daryl's back, he carefully raised his son and slid a pillow behind his head. Pulling the quilt out from under him, he bundled it around him and headed for the door.

In the doorway, he stopped in the act of closing the door behind him and looked back one last time. Daryl had turned toward the door and was watching sleepily as his father left the room. "You rest, Son."

Daryl obediently closed his eyes and went to sleep.

**_Chapter 8 is on it's way! Thanks so much for reading! Feedback is always welcome._**


	8. Chapter 8

"Jim, you should really sit down." Jim glanced over at Megan, who was watching him with concern from the stiff cushioned chair she sat in. "You're not doing Blair a bit of good pacing like that!"

Jim sighed, staring up at the clock on the wall for the thousandth time. "I wish it wasn't taking so long!" He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tense muscles. "This is killing me!"

Megan echoed his sigh. "Jim, Doctor Palmer told you it's a very complicated surgery. Of course it's going to take a long time. You want him to keep his arm, don't you?"

"Of course, I do! What kind of a question is that?" Jim stopped pacing to scowl at his companion.

"Well," Megan continued. "Then you have to give the doctors time to fix him up."

Jim sank down in the chair beside her. "I'm sorry, Conner. Thanks for staying with me."

Megan smiled wanly. "I care about Sandy, too, Jim. I just want to make sure he's okay."

"Yeah." Jim sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face wearily. "I know." He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head down to rest in his hands. "I know."

Footsteps in the hall brought his head up sharply. Then he sighed again as Rafe and Brown walked into the waiting room. Megan smiled up at the two newcomers. "Hi guys."

"Hi, Megan. Hey Jim." Joel followed close behind his two companions. "What's the word?"

"Nothing yet." Megan answered, and Jim threw a relieved glance in her direction. He really didn't feel up to talking right now. "What about Simon and Daryl?"

Joel frowned. "Well, I just talked to Simon, and he says Daryl collapsed on the way home. Simon had to carry him into the house and put him to bed. He's been asleep ever since. I just don't think he's ready to face what happened." Joel shook his head sadly. "And on his birthday too. What a lousy time for something like this to happen. Not that there's ever a good time. But this..."

"Yeah." Jim sighed again. It seemed to be all he was capable of doing at the moment.

"Detective Ellison?" Jim shot to his feet, amazed that the doctor had actually been able to sneak up on them.

"How's he doing?"

Doctor Palmer stepped into the room behind the young surgeon. "Well, we think we've managed to save his arm. We took longer than we thought, but we've repaired the damage to the blood vessels and muscles, and we've done what we could with the nerves. It's all in one piece now. We just have to watch for infection, and see how much use he regains. He's got a long hard road ahead of him. You'll need to be there for him. He's going to get very frustrated for a while."

"You don't need to worry about that!" Jim's smile threatened to light up the room. "I'll be there for him! We all will!" He paused to take a shaky breath, shaking from overwhelming happiness this time. "Can I see him?"

"He's in recovery right now, but as soon as we get him into a room, we'll let you know."

"Thanks so much!" Jim enthusiastically shook hands with both doctors.

Doctor Palmer smiled wearily. "You just take care of your partner. He's going to need a lot of support when he wakes up."

The two doctors turned and headed back down the hall, talking quietly. Jim turned and looked at the others, a wide smile on his face. "Did you hear that? He thinks they saved his arm!"

Suddenly everyone was talking at once, slapping each other on the back and laughing, giddy with relief. Sandburg had pulled off yet another miracle and would live to tell about it. Jim sank down on the chair, his wide grin suddenly fading.

"We need to let Simon and Daryl know." Instantly the uproar ceased as everyone recalled that there had been two victims in the car, and the other had not been so lucky. "I'll do it." Jim stood up and headed for the pay phone in the lobby, leaving only silence behind him.

***************

Simon was sitting beside Daryl's bed, watching his sleeping son, when the phone rang. Daryl didn't even move, still dead to the world. Simon stood up with a sigh and headed for the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the receiver.

"Banks."

"Simon, it's Jim. How's Daryl doing?" The soft voice on the other end of the line seemed to reach out and surround Simon, comforting him as only a close friend can.

"He's about the same, Jim. Still sound asleep. I think he's sleeping as a way to shut all this out." Simon sighed. "I'm not sure at this point if I wish him awake, or if I hope he keeps sleeping. How's Sandburg?"

Simon could hear the tremulous smile in Jim's voice. "He's out of surgery. Simon, they think he'll keep his arm!"

Simon closed his eyes, expelling his breath in a great sigh of relief. "Jim, that's wonderful. Have you seen him yet?"

"Not yet. He's still in recovery. As soon as he's in a room, I'll be there. Simon, it's not over yet. He's got a lot of recovering to do. They said it's going to require a lot of therapy and hard work, and they couldn't give us a guarantee of how much mobility he'll have with it, but we have a shot!"

Simon nodded, as if Jim could see him. "That's great, Jim. You tell him we're all pulling for him. I'll be there to visit him as soon as I can. You take care of him, Jim."

"Thanks, Simon, I'll tell him. And.......we'll be thinking about you and Daryl. You hang in there."

The click on the line indicated that Jim had hung up, and Simon slowly returned the receiver to the base. Looking back toward his son's room, he leaned against the wall. Thank God, things were looking up for Sandburg. Now if only he had a clue how to reach his son.

****************

The first thing he noticed was the noise. An incredibly annoying beeping sound coming from somewhere off to his left. The strange thing about it was it seemed to sound in tandem with the equally annoying throbbing in his body. He shifted slightly, trying to move to a position that eliminated the throbbing, but only succeeded in awakening the burning pain in his left arm.

He let out a low moan, fighting through the pain. Opening his eyes a slit, he peered up at the face hovering over him.

"Hey, Chief. It's okay, you're going to be fine." The voice washed over him, leaving calm behind it.

"Mmmm......Jim." His voice didn't sound right, but he didn't have the energy to figure out why.

Something closed firmly around his right hand, squeezing it briefly. "Come on, partner. Open your eyes...all the way up." The voice sounded amused, and he forced his eyes open further, wondering what the joke was.

"J'm? Wha' hap'n?" Blair frowned. That still didn't sound right. He struggled to keep his eyes open, fighting gravity. They seemed to want to close, and his eyes rolled as he fought to keep Jim in his sight.

"Don't worry about that now, Chief. You just rest. You're going to be fine. And I'm right here."

The soothing voice added its weight to the gravity already conspiring against him, and he closed his eyes, assured that whatever was happening, Jim had it all under control.


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N My thanks to Dawn for being my beta for the rest of the story!_**

Jim sank back in his chair, the slowing heartbeat signaling Blair's return to sleep. The smile he had pasted on his face disappeared, and he studied his partner critically. He had moved his chair around to the left side of the bed, so that he could hang on to Blair's good right hand. His left arm was immobilized and swathed in heavy bandages. There was a neat line of stitches stretching from just above his right eye to the middle of his forehead. The stitches, while painful looking on their own, stretched across a spectacular purple lump.

Blair's face was so pale it was almost white, and he was bathed in sweat. His eyes looked sunken, even in sleep, and there were dark smudges under them. His hair was down, and it tangled around his shoulders. Jim winced as he thought about how hard it was going to be to brush it tomorrow. There were numerous IV bags attached to the tube in the back of his right hand, and Jim clutched the hand carefully, afraid to hurt his friend any more.

The doctors had gone over Blair's prognosis again before allowing Jim into seeing his friend, and he sighed now, thinking about what he had been told to expect. They had told him that Blair would be in and out of consciousness for a day or so, between the remaining effects of the anesthesia and the pain medications they had started him on. Once he did wake up, they were going to start him slowly on a rehabilitation program for his arm. They wanted to watch him closely for the first few days to see how he would be able to handle the therapy. At this point, they still didn't know if he would be able to use the arm.

Jim leaned back in his chair, still lightly grasping Blair's limp hand. They had told him that Blair was going to need a lot of support, both because of his badly injured arm and because he would have a hard time with Dani's death. Well, as long as it took, he would be here. He leaned forward again, brushing a stray strand of hair back from his partner's forehead.

"Jim?" Looking up sharply, he saw Megan standing in the doorway of Blair's room. "How's he doing?"

Jim sighed. He had been doing a lot of that lately. "He woke up a few minutes ago, but only for a few seconds. Then he dropped back to sleep. The doctor says that's going to be happening a lot for the next few days. Then after that, he starts his therapy."

Megan stepped further into the room. "If he's going to be out of it, don't you think it would be a good time for you to go home and get some rest yourself?"

Jim was shaking his head before she had even finished speaking. "No. Thanks, Conner, I appreciate your concern, but I need to be here when he IS awake." He looked up at her determinedly. "I'm not leaving."

Megan studied him closely for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision. Nodding firmly, she continued to move into the room. "I kind of figured you'd say that. I brought you some dinner, and some clean clothes. You've been walking around in those wet dirty ones for hours. Joel took me out to your loft, and I brought some things for you." Pulling her hand out from behind her back, Megan revealed the plastic shopping bag she had been concealing there.

"Thanks, Conner...Megan." Jim's eyes softened, and setting Blair's hand gently back on the blankets, he impulsively stood and gave her a quick hug. "You've really been a big help today. Thank you."

Having said that, he felt suddenly awkward at having expressed his emotions, and he sat down again, reclaiming his partner's limp hand. Megan's attempt to suppress a smile at his uncharacteristic display was not unnoticed, although Jim decided to ignore it. Megan set the bag down beside him and returned to the doorway.

"The next time he wakes up, you tell him we're all pulling for him, ok? And we talked about it, and we are all going to take turns coming to see him. We don't want to overwhelm him." Megan looked back at Blair one last time, then turned and walked away.

Jim sat back in his seat, listening to the footsteps fading down the hall as Megan reached the elevators. He had been so focused on Blair he hadn't even noticed her approach. Looking back down at the bed, he turned his attention back to his partner.

****************

Simon was dozing restlessly on the couch, waking at every sound. He had checked on Daryl at least five times in the last hour, and his son had still not moved. He had been lying in the same position on the bed for hours now, and Simon was really getting worried. Not that he hadn't *been* worried about him since this whole disaster had happened. But sleeping like this was very unusual for Daryl.

He jumped as a sound woke him again and sat up quickly on the couch. He got to his feet and headed for Daryl's room, concern giving way to relief as he recognized the sound coming from the darkened room. Daryl was crying, great gasping sobs. As much as he hated to see his son in pain, at least he was dealing with it now.

Throwing the door open, Simon entered the room and crossed to the bed. "Daryl? Come here, son."

Daryl sat up and threw himself into his father's arms, nearly crushing him with the force of his desperate hug. He continued to sob noisily, relaxing slightly when Simon gently rubbed his back. Simon rocked his son slowly, crooning words of comfort to him.

Suddenly Daryl stiffened. "Daddy? Is this real? It wasn't a dream, was it?"

Simon sighed. "No, Daryl, it's real. I am *so* sorry."

Daryl pushed back from his father, swiping his sleeve across his face angrily. "I still don't understand why Dani was here! She had a big test to study for! Why?"

"Daryl, I told you, we were planning a party for you. She was here to surprise you." Simon was getting a very uncomfortable feeling that things were about to get worse. He didn't know where Daryl was going with this, but there was pain and anger radiating from him.

"Well, how did she get involved in this? Everybody else that was there were your friends from the station. How did she get involved?" Daryl was glaring at him now, and Simon cringed. He had never seen his son so angry before, and he was guessing it was a defense against his real feelings.

"We told her about it, Daryl. We thought it was a good idea. I'm so sorry."

Daryl took a deep breath, then faced his father, eyes blazing now. "*Who* told her?"

Suddenly Simon realized where this was going. Daryl was looking for someone to blame his loss on, and Blair was going to be the most logical candidate. "Daryl," he said gently. "Blair asked her, but this was *not* his fault! It was a horrible accident! But it wasn't even the fault of the guy in the other car! His tire blew and he couldn't control it. Things like that happen sometimes. It's awful, I know, and I am very sorry, but this is *not* Blair's fault." He paused for a shaky breath. "He almost died, too."

"But he didn't, did he, Dad?" Daryl was belligerent now, challenging his father. "If he hadn't told her about it, she would still be at college, studying for her exam. So you tell *me* whose fault it is!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, Chief. Welcome back!" Blair opened his eyes slowly, the pain radiating from his head and abdomen nearly overwhelming him. Turning his head slightly, he focused on Jim, sitting quietly beside his bed. "How're you doing?"

"O-okay." Blair swallowed hard, trying to get his bearings. "How....how long..."

"How long have you been sleeping?" Jim smiled gently down at his partner, clasping his right hand tightly. "Well, you woke up a few times, but only for a few minutes. You've been out for over 24 hours this time. It's about time you woke up and talked to me!"

"Jim?" Blair struggled hard to keep the emotion from his voice. He thought he remembered what had happened, and it made him cold deep inside. "Dani didn't make it, did she?"

"Hey, Buddy, we don't need to talk about that right now. You just concentrate on getting better, okay?" Jim leaned forward, fixing the injured man with earnest blue eyes. "There'll be plenty of time to talk about that later."

"No......now!" Blair insisted, feeling the cold beginning to spread. He knew something awful had happened. He needed to know what it was. "Please, Jim."

Jim seemed to wilt, slumping down in his seat and closing his eyes wearily. "Okay, Chief. You're right. Dani was hurt too badly. She didn't make it. I'm sorry, Blair." He leaned forward again, dropping his hand lightly to Blair's chest.

Blair felt the heat through the blankets, trying to warm up the ice inside him, but he was just too cold. "I killed her, Jim."

"You did not kill her." Jim's denial fell on deaf ears as Blair drew inside of himself, horrified at what he had done. "It was a tragic accident. You almost died too, Buddy. You did everything you could to save her."

"But it wasn't enough." Blair felt like he would choke on the huge lump that had risen in his throat. "She still died, and I lived! If I hadn't come up with this stupid idea, she'd still be alive, back on campus!" He closed his eyes and turned his head away. "How's Daryl?"

Jim sighed. "Well, he's not taking it too well." Grasping Blair's chin, he stared his partner square in the face, blue eyes holding blue. "But this is *not* your fault. Chief, you almost lost your arm trying to save..." Suddenly he stopped, looking away.

"My arm?" Blair struggled weakly to look down at his body, his heart pounding faster. He lifted his head from the pillow, shaking with the effort. "What's wrong with my arm?" Seeing both arms accounted for, he dropped back against the pillows with a sigh, even that small effort causing a sheen of sweat to appear on his face.

"Hey, hey!" Jim moved closer to his partner, attempting to sooth the shaken man. "I'm sorry, Blair, I shouldn't' have said anything. You're going to be fine. They saved your arm. It was hurt pretty badly, but they did a lot of surgery, and you're going to be fine."

"Why can't I feel my left arm, Jim?" It was almost a whisper, but Jim heard him clearly.

Resting a hand on Blair's right shoulder, where he knew he would be able to feel the touch, Jim leaned forward. "It's too soon, Blair. You're still numb from the surgery. Just give it a little time."

Blair looked up at his partner earnestly. "Is that all?" He blinked groggily as he started to lose his grasp on consciousness again. "Is there more?"

"You're going to be fine, Blair." Ellison evaded the question, rubbing the injured man's shoulder soothingly. "Now you look like you could use some more rest. I'll be right here when you wake up. Go to sleep, Buddy."

Blair gave Jim one more clear trusting look, then let his eyes close as he lost the battle to stay awake.

Jim closed his eyes wearily and squeezed Sandburg's shoulder gently. "You're going to be just fine," he repeated softly.

********************

"Daryl?" Simon stood uncertainly in the doorway of his son's room. "Son, I'm headed over to the hospital to see how Blair is doing. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

Daryl sat on his bed facing the wall. He stiffened his shoulders at his father's words, but did not answer.

"Okay, well if you need anything, you can have me paged at the hospital." Simon turned to leave, but something made him turn back. He strode into the room and headed toward his son's bed. Rounding the corner, he peered intently into Daryl's face.

Daryl slowly turned his head to look vaguely toward his father, focusing on a point just beyond Simon's shoulder. "I just can't believe she's gone, Dad. I just talked to her on the phone yesterday. I keep thinking that she's going to come walking in the door anytime now, laughing and telling me it was all a mistake. How can she be gone? She's too young!!" Tears filled his eyes, and he broke off abruptly, returning to his blank perusal of the wallpaper.

"I know, Daryl." Simon studied his son critically. He was still wearing the clothes from yesterday, and he desperately needed to clean up. "It's going to take a while to sink in completely. That's a normal part of the grieving process. I know this is going to be hard, Son. But you have a lot of people here who want to help you through this."

"And that's why you're leaving me alone to go check on *him*?" Daryl had suddenly reverted to his earlier rant about Blair. Simon was having a hard time keeping up with his son's mood swings. But he knew that this too was normal in the grieving process.

"What are you saying, Daryl?" Simon attempted to keep his voice soft and patient. "Do you want me to abandon Blair while he's in critical condition in the hospital? I know that we haven't said much to you about his injuries, but he almost lost his arm trying to restrain Dani and save her. They aren't sure yet if he will ever use it again. Now I know that you are angry and hurt over losing Dani, but I also know that you have been friends with Blair for a long time. Aren't you the least bit concerned about him?"

Before Daryl could reply, Simon turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Daryl stared blindly at the wall for another moment, then allowed the tears to spill over. "Yes," he whispered.

**************

"Jim?" Ellison looked up sharply as Simon stepped quietly into the room. "How's he doing?"

"He's been in and out, mostly out." Jim looked down at his sleeping partner. "He got pretty upset when he found out about Dani. He blames himself."

Simon shook his head. "Well, unfortunately, so does Daryl. I'm sure he'll get past that, but he feels he has to blame someone, and Blair seems to be the easiest target. He can't fight back right now."

"Even if he could, he wouldn't want to." Ellison sighed. "I'm afraid for him, Simon. This is going to be terribly hard on him. And what if he never gets the use of his arm back? Where will that leave him?"

"What are the doctors saying?"

"They don't know. They said only time will tell. He should be ready to start therapy soon, and then they'll try to get a feel for where he is. Simon, he told me he couldn't feel his arm."

"What did you tell him?" Simon stepped closer to his distraught detective. He wished he could be supportive of *someone*. Ellison looked awful. There were deep dark circles beneath his eyes and his hair was sticking out in spikes as though he had been running his fingers through it.

Jim sighed and looked away guiltily. "I told him it was because the anesthesia hadn't worn off from his surgery. I don't think he's ready to face the possibility that he won't ever use his arm again." He stood up abruptly. "I need some air. Could you.....?"

"Sure, Jim. Take as long as you need. I'll be right here." Simon watched in concern as Ellison headed for the stairs. Looking back at the sleeping Blair, he glanced longingly at the coffee machine down the hall. Deciding he'd only be gone for a minute, he tiptoed from the room and headed for a hot cup of coffee.

As the door swung closed behind him, there was no one to see as the patient turned his head to the side and let bitter tears fall.


	11. Chapter 11

"Good morning, Gentlemen!" The cheery voice instantly roused Jim, who was glad for an excuse to move to a more comfortable position in the plastic chair he had been sleeping in. He smiled at the young nurse who was bustling about the room, then looked over at Blair with a twinkle in his eyes. This nurse was sure to interest his young friend. Sparkling green eyes examined her patient from a heart shaped face under a profusion of blonde curls. She was not only pretty, but she looked to be as bubbly as Blair at his best.

Blair opened his eyes slowly, glancing at the smiling nurse. Then he looked away from her, an almost sullen look on his face. Jim's smile disappeared, but he responded to the nurse. "Good morning. I'm Jim Ellison, and this is Blair Sandburg."

"Nice to meet you, Jim," the nurse chirped. "I'm Jackie. I've got the day shift, so you'll be seeing a lot of me. How are you feeling, Blair?"

Sandburg kept his focus on the wall. "I don't know."

Jackie's smile didn't even slip at his morose response. "Well, let's just see, okay?" She quickly set about checking his vital signs and examining the stitches above his eye for signs of infection. "So far, so good. We've been doing this quite a bit, but this is the first time you've been awake. I'm going to unwrap your arm now and look at the incisions to make sure they aren't infected or inflamed. It won't hurt a bit." Carefully unwrapping the top of the bandages, she peered at his injured arm, touching the incisions lightly to check for heat. "Okay, all done. Didn't I tell you it wouldn't hurt?"

Blair didn't even bother to respond. Closing his eyes, he looked as though he were attempting to go back to sleep. Jim was really getting concerned. Blair was not acting like himself at all. He was really concerned about his emotional state. Hopefully it was just a result of all of the medication he still had in his system.

Jackie was unfazed by Blair's lack of response. "Okay, Blair. We're all done here. I'll be back later to check on you. If you need anything, just push the button. I've put it close to your right hand so you can reach it easily." Then she smiled at Jim." Or you could send your friend to look for me." She turned and bustled back out of the room as breezily as she had come.

"Wow!" Jim laughed, watching her go. "And I thought *you* were energetic!" He turned to watch his partner, who still hadn't looked his way. "Chief, have I done something to upset you?"

Blair shook his head and finally looked in Jim's direction, although he didn't meet his eyes. "No. I'm just tired. I want to go back to sleep."

"All right, Buddy." Jim stood up suddenly. "You go back to sleep. I'm just going to step out for a minute and stretch my legs, okay? Will you be all right for a few minutes?"

"I'm fine, Jim. You can go home and get some real sleep." Blair turned his head again and closed his eyes.

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll just hang around for a while." Jim took one last look back at his partner and stepped out into the hall. Letting the door close quietly behind him, he headed for the nurses' station. Jackie looked up when she saw him coming.

"Well, that didn't take long!" She stood up quickly. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering if I could talk to the doctor about Blair. I'm really concerned about his emotional state. He doesn't act like himself at all." Jim looked earnestly at the young lady. "I don't know how to deal with him."

"Let's walk." Jackie came out from behind the desk and headed down the hall in the opposite direction from Blair's room. "Jim, Blair has had an incredible shock physically, with all of the damage done to his arm. Not to mention the fact that he nearly drowned, and from his records I see that this is not the first time he nearly drowned. He hit his head and most likely has quite a bad headache.

"Top all of that off with the knowledge that a young lady ..a friend...was not as lucky as he was, and you can see why he is acting the way he is. He's grieving, Jim. And that's natural."

Jim shook his head. "I guess you're right. It just really unnerves me to see him like this. He usually bounces right back from anything that happens. I just don't know how he's going to bounce back this time."

"Jim, that's twice in two sentences you used the phrase 'bounce back'. You need to face the fact that he's not going to 'bounce back' this time. He is going to recover slowly, and he's going to need a lot of support from you and his other friends to do that. Dr. Palmer has already requested a consult with one of our staff psychiatrists. I think he's scheduled for this afternoon. Dr Palmer figured Blair would have been through the worst of the anesthesia by then and alert enough to talk to him. But it's not going to be easy ... for either of you. Can you handle seeing him this way and stick by him?"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Jim's vehemence brought a smile to Jackie's face.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Has our little talk helped you any?"

"Yes it has. Thanks, Jackie. I guess I didn't need to speak to the doctor after all." Jim flashed a crooked smile at the young nurse as they headed back down the hall.

***************

"Good morning, Daryl." Simon poked his head in the door of his son's room. "Why don't you get up and come to breakfast? I made your favorite. Pancakes and sausage."

Daryl rose quietly and followed his father to the table. Sitting down, he immediately began to eat, bringing the fork to his mouth mechanically. The silence was oppressive, but Simon could think of nothing to say to break it. Watching his son surreptitiously, he ate his own breakfast, trying desperately to think of what to do next.

"Daryl, I'm going to go back over to the hospital this morning. Do you want to come with me?"

"No." Daryl was firm, but not rude, so Simon could not take exception to his tone. "Daddy, I think I want to go to school today."

"Daryl, are you sure?" Simon could not disguise the surprise in his voice. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"I don't want to just sit around thinking about...things, Dad. I want to go to school. I don't want to miss anything in my classes. I can't afford to get behind." The longer this speech went on, the more intense his voice became. "I have to go, Dad!"

"All right, Daryl. Calm down, Son. You can go to school. But if it gets to be too much for you, I want you to come home. Okay?"

"Thanks, Dad." Daryl jumped up and dashed back to his room, grabbing his clothes to take to the bathroom. He had just enough time to shower and be on time.

Simon sat stunned at the table. What had just happened here?


	12. Chapter 12

Daryl walked down the hall toward his classroom. He really didn't want to be here, but he couldn't sit at home and think, and he certainly didn't want to go to the hospital to see the cause of all of his troubles. He wanted nothing to do with Blair. That moment yesterday when he had admitted that he was concerned for his long time friend had been quickly forgotten in the face of his all consuming rage. Blair was responsible for Dani's death and he didn't want to think about the accident, his loss or Blair Sandburg.

"Daryl?" Miss Anderson, Daryl's English teacher looked up in surprise as he passed her in the hall. "Are you okay? I wasn't expecting to see you today. Are you sure you're up to this?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Daryl tried to curb his impatience. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, if everyone here knew about Dani and tried to talk to him about it. "I'm going to be late for class, Miss Anderson."

"Okay, Daryl, you go ahead. I don't want to make you late." He could feel her eyes on his back as he continued on to his first class. He breathed a sigh of relief as he rounded the corner and spotted the doorway to his Physics class. He entered the room, striving for a casual expression, and quickly slid into a seat.

***************

"Jim, this is Dr. Pratt. He's going to go and talk to Blair now." Dr Palmer quickly introduced the psychiatrist to the Sentinel. "Why don't you go out and get some fresh air for a little while. I'll let you know when you can go back in."

Jim nodded, shaking Dr Pratt's hand. "Take good care of my partner, Dr Pratt." He turned and headed down the hall.

"Jim, wait up!" Simon stepped off the elevator in time to see Jim's exodus. He strode down the hall, quickly overtaking his friend. "What's going on?"

"Simon, he just doesn't care about anything. They brought in a psychiatrist to talk to him. I had to leave for a while." Jim ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. "He's not doing too well. How's Daryl?"

"I have no idea." Simon shook his head. "I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the hospital and he got all agitated and insisted on going to school. I'm worried about him, too."

"I think it's going to take a long time for both of them, Simon. They've both got a lot of healing to do, and it's not going to happen overnight."

"Since when did you become a therapist?"

Jim laughed. "Since I talked to Blair's nurse about an hour ago. She made a lot of sense. She said it's going to take a long time to get over this, and it's going to take a lot of support from us."

******************

By lunchtime, Daryl had conceded that he had made a mistake in coming to school. Everyone had heard about the accident, and since Dani had just graduated the previous year, it was the hot topic of the day. People who had known her were shocked and grieving, while those who hadn't known her talked about it in hushed whispers. In every class he had been in so far, he had been able to feel the stares of his curious classmates.

In the cafeteria, he quickly headed for an empty table in an attempt to escape the whispers and stares. He had barely sat down when the table filled around him with several of his friends.

"Hey, man, how ya doing?" Kevin was probably Daryl's closest friend in school, but he didn't even want to deal with him right now.

"Okay," he mumbled, quickly stuffing his sandwich in his mouth so he would have an excuse not to talk.

"So what happened?" This question came from Jase, an acquaintance, and not even a very close one. Daryl was tired of the stares, the whispers, and the questions. Suddenly he felt the rage building inside him. His chest hurt from the pressure, and he stood up violently, knocking the table over.

"My girlfriend's dead!" He shouted back at the stunned boys. "She's dead, okay? And Blair Sandburg killed her!!" Turning away to hide the sudden tears, he pushed through the tangle of tables and left the room.

Heading straight for his locker, he quickly grabbed his things and headed for the exit. Behind him, he heard an adult voice calling his name, but he ignored it. He couldn't deal with anything else right now.

****************

Simon was dozing in the chair beside Jim, waiting for the psychiatrist to finish with Blair. Dr Pratt had been in there for a long time. He jerked suddenly, hearing his name. Jim nudged him.

"You're being paged, Simon."

Banks stood up too quickly and felt the blood rushing from his head. He grabbed the edge of the chair, hanging on until he stabilized, then headed for the nurses' station. "I'm Simon Banks. You paged me?"

"Yes, sir." The nurse seated behind the desk held out a telephone. "I have an urgent call for you from your son's school."

Simon sighed, then took the receiver. "Banks."

Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed Jim standing at his shoulder. He wondered idly if the sentinel was listening to his conversation as the school office informed him that Daryl had been involved in a disturbance in the cafeteria and then left the building, obviously distraught. He sighed again. What else could go wrong?

The door to Blair's room opened, and Dr Pratt stepped out. "Detective Ellison, I'd like to talk to you about your partner....."


	13. Chapter 13

"From the talk I had with Blair I feel that he is apathetic toward his well being. He feels that he doesn't deserve to be alive since his friend did not pull through. He also apparently overheard a conversation that the two of you had when you thought he was asleep. He knows that your son is blaming him for the accident, Captain Banks, a sentiment that he agrees with whole heartedly. He also knows there is a good chance he won't get the use of his arm back and that you are trying to keep that from him."

Jim and Simon exchanged uncomfortable glances. The three men were seated in a small lounge where they could have a bit of privacy. Dr Pratt hadn't wasted any time with niceties. He jumped straight to the point of the conversation.

"Since he heard that, he feels it's a waste of time to try. You, Gentlemen, are going to convince him otherwise. He *must* fight, or he won't have any chance at normal usage of that arm. Dr Palmer tells me it will be a long hard road, but he does have a chance...if he tries. I realize that he's still reeling from the shock of this horrible thing that has happened to him, but you need to jump in there and motivate him."

He stood, signifying that the brief meeting was over. "That is all I can go into with you without getting into doctor/patient confidentiality issues, but I will tell you that I plan to set up frequent visits with Mr. Sandburg for a while." He nodded, shook hands with both men and headed down the hall, clipboard in hand.

"My God, Simon, what have we done?" Jim stared at Simon in horror. "How could I not know he was awake?" He slowly stood up, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Why didn't I hear his breathing increase? His heart beat?"

"I don't know, Jim. Don't be too rough on yourself. It's been a stressful few days for all of us." He sighed. "Well, you go take care of yours. I need to find mine."

Ellison nodded and headed back into Blair's room, barely aware of Simon heading for the elevator, intent on finding his missing son. "Blair? Chief?"

This time he heard the increase in his partner's breathing and heart rate. Blair still wasn't meeting Jim's eyes, but he did turn toward him. "Hey, Jim." His voice was flat and cold.

"Blair, I just had a talk with Dr Pratt. I am so sorry that you heard what we said. I don't know why I didn't hear your vitals increase when you woke up, but I never meant to upset you. You can't give up, Chief. If you don't fight, your arm will never get better!"

"So?" Blair finally met Jim's gaze, his blue eyes lifeless. "So what? What difference does it make? I probably won't ever use it anyway. I can't feel it, Jim. It's just there. Why did you...." He broke off abruptly.

"Why did I what?" Jim prompted.

"Why did you work so hard to save me? Why didn't you just leave me there where I belonged?"

"Blair!" Jim nearly choked on tears as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "You may not feel like it right now, but you are important! You're important to your students at the University, and you're important to Naomi. Simon and the guys all depend on you. And ..I ..*need* you."

Blair looked away again, as if he hadn't heard. Jim grabbed his chin and turned his face toward him. He needed to look into his partner's eyes.

"Did you hear me, Blair? I ...need...you. Where would I be without you? I can't do this Sentinel thing without you, Chief, and frankly I don't ever want to try. You are the most important person in my life, and not just because I need you. You're my best friend. Got it? *That's* why I worked so hard to save you. Because I didn't have another choice. I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't tried."

Blair searched Ellison's eyes for a moment, then his own eyes filled with tears. "But I failed, Jim."

"Did you hear what I said, Blair? I had to *try*. And that's all you could do. You tried and you nearly died in the process. You did the best you could, and that is all you can do. Your best. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things *will* get better, Blair. I promise."

Blair studied Jim's face a few seconds longer, then he closed his eyes. "Jim, I'd like to be alone for a few minutes, 'kay? I need to think, and I'm really tired."

Jim patted him on the shoulder and stood up. "Okay, you rest. If you need me, I'll be right down the hall, okay?"

Blair nodded. "Jim?" Jim turned back halfway out the door, looking quizzically at his friend. "Thanks."

****************

Simon found Daryl on the first try. He was right back where he had started, on his bed staring at the wall. "Daryl? I heard you had kind of a rough day."

Daryl snorted. "Yeah, if you call having everybody stare and whisper everywhere I went rough. And the guys all wanted to talk about it. I didn't." He shrugged. "So I left."

"I'm sorry, Son. I wish I could make it easier for you. It hurts me to see you hurting like this."

"Well, you can't!" Daryl turned to his father, eyes blazing. "Nobody can make it better. And it still hurts *me* that you would leave me here alone to go see *him*." He spat the last words in fury.

"Okay, Daryl. I can see we're not going to agree about this, so I don't want to talk about it right now. Blair is going through a very rough time, too. But I know you don't want to hear that. I'm going to go make some supper for us." Simon turned and headed to the kitchen before he said something he would regret. "Patience and support," he mumbled under his breath. It was going to be a long night.


	14. Chapter 14

"Blair? I'm leaving now." Jim stood hesitantly beside his partner's bed. "You just rest, okay? I'll be back after the.....I'll be back later."

Blair swallowed hard and looked up at Ellison. The funeral. He had been going to say the funeral. "Yeah." He blinked furiously and then looked back at his friend. "You'd better go. Don't want to be late."

Jim squeezed Blair's right shoulder, something he had been doing frequently in the past three days. It was like he felt if he touched him enough, Blair wouldn't notice that his other arm was still completely numb. All it was doing was reminding him more forcefully of his condition.

"I'm just going to take a nap." He closed his eyes and waited until he heard Jim's footsteps receding in the distance before he reopened them, resigning himself to a morning of staring out the window. He had been moved to an intermediate care room last night, so at least he had a window to look out.

It took a few moments before he really focused on what he was seeing. A beautiful sunny day. Although the October chill was still in the air, since Jim had been wearing his jacket. Blair sighed. He couldn't even stare out the window in peace. Today should have been an ugly day, overcast and dismal, maybe even with snow or freezing rain. It always rained for funerals on TV. It only seemed right. Even nature should be weeping for the loss.

"Sandy?" Quick light footsteps headed toward the bed. "Hey, none of that now." A slim hand brushed tears from his eyes, tears he hadn't known he was shedding. Blinking again, he turned to glance self-consciously up at Megan.

She seemed to not be bothered by the fact that he was crying. "I just came to sit with you for a while, Sandy." She favored him with a gentle smile. "Thought maybe you could use some company."

****************

The weather seemed just perfect for Dani's funeral. That was Daryl's first thought on arriving at the cemetery. If she had been there, she would have loved the sunny cloudless day. That thought lightened his mood for the space of a few seconds, but then the fact that she wasn't with him to enjoy the day immediately plunged him back to despair. His father stayed close to him for support, a fact which Daryl appreciated but could never articulate.

They went to sit directly behind Dani's family, and for the first time he lost the self absorption he had been floundering in since the accident. Dani's parents and younger brother were obviously grieving, too, and he realized with a twinge of guilt that he had never even given them a thought.

He glanced around idly and realized that a large number of students from his school and graduates from the past few years had turned out. All of Major Crimes had come as well, with the exception of Megan Conner, but she hadn't known Dani well. He wondered fleetingly where she was, but then the service began. His attention immediately switched to what the minister was saying.

It was a simple service, and Daryl knew that Dani would have wanted it that way. She had never been one for a lot of fuss about herself, and although it was obvious everyone was genuinely grieving, the focus was more on a celebration of the life she had lived than on her death. Despite his tight grasp on his rage and grief, a small measure of peace slipped past the fortress he had built around his heart as he remembered the beautiful person they were here to honor.

******************

It had been nearly a week since the accident, and Simon was finally tempted to breathe a sigh of relief. Although Daryl continued to be quiet and sad, he seemed to have lost a lot of the anger that had characterized the first three days. Something seemed to have happened the day of Dani's funeral, but he was at a loss to point out just what it was. The only sore point between them was that Daryl still vehemently refused to go to the hospital to see Blair.

Jim had been less fortunate in his dealings with Blair. As he physically began to heal, his emotions seemed to take on a life of their own, and he would turn away in tears at odd times, embarrassed to be caught crying. He still showed little interest in getting well, and mostly ignored his physical therapist's requests to attempt to exercise his injured arm. He seemed to get highly agitated every time someone touched him, so Jim had backed off on the physical reassurances, although it was hard. Although touching his partner seemed to bother Blair, it had been comforting to Jim to feel the warmth of his skin and feel the blood rushing through his veins. He contented himself with listening to Blair's breathing and heartbeat. Anything to reassure himself that Sandburg had yet again survived a disaster.

Megan Conner had become a regular visitor, and Blair seemed to perk up just a little bit during her visits. Today was no exception. Conner was sitting in the chair beside Blair's bed, casually filling him in on all of the happenings at the station. As Jim watched from the doorway, she even drew a small smile from his partner with her antics. This had happened a few times now, but it was always short lived and Blair went back to the silent depression he seemed to have settled into.

Pushing away from the door, Jim stepped into the room. "Hey, Chief! Megan, how's it going?"

Conner stood up and smiled at Jim. "Just fine, Jim. I was just filling Sandy in on that pretty suspect who was hitting on Rafe and turned out to be named Ralph Johnson."

Jim grinned. "Yeah, I wish you could have seen his face when he realized exactly who he had cuffed to his desk. None of us suspected he was a man!"

Conner looked from Jim to Blair and back again, then tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well. I think I'm going to head out now, Sandy. It's been good seeing you. You take care, okay? I'll be back soon." She nodded to Jim, grabbed her jacket and quietly left the room.

"Blair, Dr Palmer says you're still giving your therapist a hard time. All she wants to do is help you get better. You could at least try to do what she asks." Jim launched right into the heart of the matter. He had learned to avoid asking Blair how he was feeling or if he was doing better, because those questions invariably started the embarrassed tears.

"What's the point?" Blair snarled. "I still can't feel my arm and I never will." He turned away, those infuriating tears starting anyway.

Before he could stop himself, Jim reached out and grabbed Blair's good arm, squeezing it reassuringly. Blair stunned him when he struggled to get free, and Jim ended up with an armful of struggling anthropologist. "Blair, calm down. I'm sorry. I forgot. Calm down and I'll let you go. I don't want you to hurt yourself any worse." When Blair's struggles increased, rather than ceasing, Jim wrapped both arms around his friend, indulging in a hug while attempting to restrain Blair at the same time. "Chief, why don't you want to be touched? What's going on here?"

Blair continued to struggle, although he had weakened visibly. "I can't stand it because it reminds me that I can't feel my other arm!" The words were choked out, and Jim had the feeling that his friend would have done anything to retrieve them once they were out in the open. The struggles increased again. "Jim, let go! Stop it, Jim. You're hurting me!"

Jim instantly let go of his partner and Blair's struggles ceased. Both men were breathing hard, and they stared at each other for a moment. Then Jim's heart picked up a beat. "Wh..what did you just say?"

Blair glared. "I said you're......" He trailed off, his face blanching instantly. He swallowed hard. "Jim....my arm hurts."

It was little more than a whisper, but more than enough for sentinel hearing. Before the words were completely out of Blair's mouth, Ellison had fled for the doctor, in his haste forgetting the call button beside Blair's pillow.


	15. Chapter 15

Daryl had been back in school for two days now, and he had discovered that once he survived the first few hours of curious looks and questions, things had quickly returned to normal with his classmates. He found that getting back into his normal routine seemed to help keep his mind off of things he didn't want to contemplate. But every once in a while, in a quiet moment alone, he found himself facing the gaping hole in his heart where Dani belonged. He missed her terribly, and he found much to his confusion that he seemed to vacillate between pain that she was gone and the conviction that she would come walking in the door any moment.

His father assured him that this was also normal and that it would get better with time. He found himself pulled in two directions. As time went by, he found himself secretly more and more obsessed with Blair's progress, and yet his rage continued unabated. All of these feelings confused and frightened the teen, leaving him more depressed than ever.

As he walked in the door from school today, thinking that it had been just over a week since his world had fallen apart, he was startled to hear his father talking excitedly in the living room. Curious, he headed in that direction to see what was happening.

"Jim, that's great news!" Simon was standing beside the bay window, talking into his cell phone. "You tell him congratulations for me! Okay." He sat the phone down and turned to see his son standing in the doorway.

Daryl watched him curiously. This was the most animated he had seen his father in a while. "What's up, Dad?"

Simon beamed at his son. "That was Jim. Blair's arm hurts!"

Daryl looked at his father in confusion. "And that's exciting? I thought you liked Blair."

Simon chuckled. "No, you don't get it. He can *feel* pain in his arm. He's getting better!"

Daryl once again had conflicting impulses. He wanted to smile or get excited, but at the same time he felt anger that Blair was getting better after what he had done. He finally settled on doing neither. "Oh. I have homework. I'll be in my room."

Simon's smile faded, and Daryl felt a pang of guilt for removing that look. It had been too long since his dad had looked happy like that. But he stubbornly clung to his rage and headed to his room.

*************

"Come on, Blair. Keep trying!" Jim sat beside his partner in the physical therapy room, supporting the injured man as he valiantly attempted to do the exercises his physical therapist had assigned. "I know you can do it! Just try a little harder."

"Gimme a break, Jim." Blair glared at Ellison. "I'm doing the best I can. I just can't do it."

Jim took a long hard look at his partner, and he felt some of his excitement fade. Blair was dressed in gray sweats and a loose fitting blue t-shirt, which was plastered to his body from the sweat he had worked up. His auburn curls were pulled back from his face in a pony tail, and beads of sweat dripped down his pain weary face. "Okay, Buddy, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm pushing you too hard again."

"'S okay." Blair's face cleared, and he patted Jim absently on the arm with his good hand. "I know you just want me to get better."

"Hey, guys, how's it going?" Megan stepped into the room, instantly brightening both men's moods. Megan had really been there for Blair through this whole nightmare. It had been nearly a month now since the accident which had changed both Blair and Daryl's world, and Megan stopped by for a visit almost every day.

"Hey, Megan!" Blair smiled at his friend, almost looking like the old Blair for a minute. Then the smile faded. "Not so good. I still can't get my arm to do anything. It's been hurting for almost three weeks, and I still can't make it move."

"That's okay, Sandy. Give it time." Megan leaned over and gave him a quick hug. "Eww. You're all sweaty!"

Both men laughed at this. "Well that's what happens when you work out, Megan." Ellison's tone oozed condescension.

"Yeah, I guess you're right at that." Conner smiled at the partners and then cleared her throat. "Heard anything from Daryl yet?"

"No." Blair's face was downcast, and Jim frowned at the inspector for bringing it up.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. I just stopped off to drop off some brownies. I don't want to interrupt your training." She sat an orange plastic container on the bench beside Blair and left as quickly as she had come.

Jim looked at his partner quizzically. "What was that all about?"

***************

Daryl was lying in the middle of his bed staring at the ceiling when the doorbell rang. He heard muffled footsteps as his father went to answer the door, then muted voices. He briefly wondered who it was, then lost interest and went back to his ceiling watching.

"Daryl?" Simon stuck his head in the door. "You've got a visitor."

"Me?" Daryl sat up slowly, wondering which of his friends had come by to see him. Most of his friends had been leaving him alone for the past several weeks. He knew he hadn't been very good company for any of them. "Who is it? Kevin?"

"No, Daryl, it's me." His eyebrows rose as Megan Conner pushed her way into the room, closing the door behind her. After a moment, he heard his father's footsteps receding to the other room. "I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes."

"About what?" Daryl had a feeling he knew, but he didn't want to start out by being rude.

"Mind if I sit down?" Without waiting for a response, she sat down beside him on his bed. "I wanted to talk to you about Blair."

"No offense, but don't waste your breath." Daryl tried to pull away, but Megan reached out with a surprisingly strong grip and grasped his arm.

"Daryl, I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm going to talk anyway. It's been a month, and you are still focusing all of your anger on Blair. I think you've punished him enough, don't you?"

"Punished him? I haven't done anything to him." Daryl looked up in shock. "Sure, I'm angry with him. Sometimes I think I hate him. But I haven't done anything to him."

Megan sighed and looked off at the wall as if the answers she was looking for were written there. Daryl stifled a hysterical giggle when he realized that she was looking at the wall he'd been spending half of his time staring at for the past four weeks. There were no answers there. If there were, he would have found them by now.

"Okay, what if I tell you a story to see if I can clarify this. Last year, there was a horrible airplane accident. You might remember it. There was a family..parents and two kids, and they were on their way home for Christmas to see their relatives. Do you remember it? It was in the news for days."

"Yeah, I remember. That was really sad. They got caught in a lightning storm and crashed. They all died."

"Whose fault was it?"

"Whose fault? Well, nobody. It was just a terrible accident." Daryl looked up, startled as he started to see where she was going with this.

"Nobody? Are you sure? What about the relatives that invited them to visit? Surely, it was their fault, wasn't it? I mean, if they hadn't invited them, they would never have been in the plane to begin with." Megan watched him intently.

"No." Daryl's shoulders slumped. "They wouldn't have, but it was just an accident. The relatives weren't to blame. And Blair wasn't either." His eyes filled with tears. "Why have I been so mad at him? I don't understand why I've been so mad at him all this time. It wasn't his fault." The last sentence was barely whispered, but Megan smiled gently.

"Because....if you could blame him, then you wouldn't have to admit who you really blame for the accident."

"It was my birthday. If it wasn't for me, she'd still be here." Daryl's face crumpled, and he finally let out the guilt and grief he had been holding inside for the past four weeks. Megan reached across and pulled his head to her shoulder, rocking him gently.

"Go ahead and cry it out, Buddy. You've needed to get that out of your system for a while now, I think. But you weren't to blame either, remember?"

The teen clung to her and cried for several minutes, feeling the pain easing just a little. "No, I wasn't to blame either. It was just a stupid accident. Inspector Conner, I miss her so much. Will it ever get easier?" He sniffled and wiped the tears from his face with his sleeve.

Megan smiled. "I think it already has, hasn't it?" She gave him one more squeeze, then stood up briskly. "And I know what will make it even better...."

**************

Blair was resting on the couch, flipping channels idly. "Hey, Jim? Supper ready yet? All that *trying* made me hungry."

"Almost ready, Chief." Jim headed for the door, opening it just as a hand was raised to knock.

"Cut that out!" Simon said crossly. He quickly entered the room. "Hey, Kid. I brought you a visitor."

"Oh, yeah?" Blair sat up straight, trying to peer around Simon to see who was lurking in the hall behind him. "Who?"

"Me." Daryl stepped hesitantly into the room, glanced at Jim nervously and headed toward the couch.

Blair was stunned. "Hey, Daryl."

"Uh....Blair, I ....uh.....I'mreallysorryI'vebeensomadatyou." He said the sentence as one mouthful, and it took Sandburg a minute to sort out the separate words. Then he gulped. "I was wrong. It wasn't your fault." He looked back at the doorway, and that was when Blair noticed Megan standing there, nodding to Daryl encouragingly.

Daryl took a deep breath, but Blair didn't mind. He was too busy being speechless as he took in the meaning of the boy's statement.

"It wasn't my fault either. It was nobody's fault, and I'm sorry I wasn't here for you to help you get through this better." He seemed to run out of words, then, and he stood there, swaying uncertainly for a moment. Then he reached out and awkwardly embraced the stunned anthropologist, who automatically hugged him back.

Blair could feel the weight as it rolled off of his shoulders. Daryl's apology seemed to make him feel fifty pounds lighter, and he closed his eyes, reveling in contact with his young friend for the first time since the accident. They both had a long way to go in their recovery, but this had jump started both of them. And neither of them noticed that Blair's left arm had wrapped around his friend.

Jim caught his breath as he saw the miracle happening in front of his eyes. Hugging Megan in a spontaneous move, he beamed. "I don't know what you did, but thank you!"

Conner grinned. "You're welcome. Now what's that tantalizing smell? You *are* going to invite us to stay for dinner, aren't you?"

Simon chuckled. "Of course he is. I'll set the table." He headed for the cupboards. "Let's eat!"

Everyone laughed at that, and suddenly pandemonium reigned at the loft as everyone was talking at once. Jim smiled, relaxed for the first time in a very long time. Everything was going to be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but they were headed in the right direction. He raised his voice above all the others. "I'm the cook, and I get to say when we eat."

Silence descended instantly as four puzzled faces looked at him. He grinned broadly.

"Okay, let's eat."

**Finis **


End file.
